“Fool” is such a grand addition to the English language. Mr. T knew what was up. Apparently, bib-wearing babies do too. I knew they were smarter than they look. I bet in actuality they’re like a tribe of wee geniuses hiding behind rolls of fat and alien faces, and when we’re sleeping at night they convene to pump hallucinogens into our water supply that make us think they are helpless and need to be coddled and attached to ladies’ boobies several times a day. Then they go out practicing interstellar diplomacy and maintaining the delicate balance of our universe, superhero-style. The most skilled advance beyond the Milky Way to the Cartwheel Galaxy of Babies or some such incomprehensibly faraway place that requires superlative brainpower and extra padding (rolls of fat) to reach. The underachievers are demoted to adulthood.
By the way, this somewhat funny bib, which reads, “These fools put my cape on backwards” (ah yes! Fools! That’s how we got on to the truth about babies.) is made of heavyweight, 100% 2-ply cotton–must’ve taken a page out of Charmin’s book–for optimal absorption of pureed carrots that a) miss their target and b) come back out of their target. An assortment of boy and girl colors are available for fools with tiny superheros in their lives.
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